27th March 2011...

....Maisie is soooo much better today, they took her off her drip first thing to see if that would prompt her to get thirsty and drink something! For her dinner she ate a small milky bar, a few small spoons of custard and half a bag of quavers!!!! Fair enough its not the best of food, and the doctor wasn't that impressed that was what she had had to eat, but from mine and Alan's point of view, something is better than nothing at all, if Maisie had turned down the milky bar we would have had major concerns, because she loves a milky bar!...

.....By 6.30pm Maisie's temperature had gone back up, this time it was 38.9oc, wouldn't eat any tea, but she did drink 3oz of milk....

...Lets hope for a better day tomorrow...

Steph xxxx

26th March 2011....

....Yet another day on the drip, Maisie still hasn't eaten or drank anything, which is a growing concern! So they upped her saline drip to compensate what she's not drinking herself, but she cannot stay on the drip forever. Maisie was more perkier today, which is fantastic, & the paracetamol & nurofen controlled her pain, so no Ora-morph today =) The doctor also took another blood test today to check her liver function, should have the results tomorrow.....

....It was a "better" day with Maisie today, had a few, and i mean a few, smiles off her. Which was really lovely to see, she did try and play about with her drip, but we did manage to distract her from pulling it all out...

Steph xxxx

What a fright.....25th March 2011

......Me and Alan were asleep back at Stevenson House and it was 3.30am, Alan didn't feel too good and had the runs, all of a sudden my mobile started ringing. It was a withheld number, I answered it with caution whilst thoughts of...." who could it be? only the hospital would be ringing at this time! its Maisie! theres something wrong! whats wrong? oh i hope its nothing serious!"..... spun around my head in a split second! As I answered the phone, it was the hospital, Maisie's temperature had shot up to 39.7oc and she wasn't well, instantly i replied with " I'll be there in 20 Min's, just let me get dressed" I leaped out of that bed, I have never in my whole life got out of a bed so fast, and started to get dressed, Alan turned around and asked what was the matter, so i explained what the nurse had told me, he jumped out of bed too and got ready while feeling so ill! Although he knew he couldn't come in with me in case he had an D&V (although he had not been sick so far) he didn't want me to walk through the streets of Whitechapel at almost 4am! Alan walked with me to the hospital so I wasn't alone, and he waited outside until I came out with some more news! As I briskly walked onto the ward, all was silent, Maisie wasn't properly asleep, but she had calmed down and was relaxed....once I was there the Doctor came over, and explained that they wanted to take some Blood Cultures which take 48 hours to come back which will show if there's any infection, plus they wanted to take a chest x-ray to see if there was any infection because she is only just post-op! Getting bloods wasn't easy, they tried getting blood from the top of her hand (palm down) there was no vein to be seen, so the doctor went in where the vein should be, but found nothing, she then went in the top of Maisie's foot, again went in blind, nothing there either, so she went in Maisie's wrist on the tiniest vein, and managed to get the cannula in and get some blood from her, as she already had a cannula in her other hand which was giving her saline, they decided to give her i.v antibiotics too. Then a lady came around at about 5am with an x-ray machine and took an x-ray of Maisie's chest....

.....I saw the doctor again around 8am, and she told me Maisie had a very mild chest infection, which was most probably caused by the gas that they use to put her to sleep and the device they put in her throat while she was in surgery. The doctor did also say that she will be getting the consultant to double check that it is mild and that there is nothing more serious there!.....

.....By 9am, Maisie was still very unsettled and seemed to be in a lot of pain, and she hadn't long had some paracetamol and nurofen, so the nurses said that they were going to give her some Ora-morph (oral morphine), after they had given her the Ora-morph they brought her a slice of toast, but she wouldn't eat or drink anything By the time it was 10.20am Maisie was so drowsy, but within 15 minutes she was asleep, so I left the ward. Alan met me outside the hospital and we went to get some cash and something to eat, and we got Alan some Imodium.....

......When I got back to the ward, Maisie was fast asleep, which I expected her to be, especially after the Ora-morph. One of the nurses told me that Maisie needed to have a CT scan done over her cast just to check that the hip was still in a good position! Maisie was called at around 1-2pm for the CT scan, I stood in the room with her to make sure she didn't try and attempt to roll off the bed.....CT didn't take long at all, I doubt it was even a minute, we then took her back to the ward, and she fell back to sleep....

.....I had spoken to the nurse about Alan not feeling well, and she asked me what was wrong with him, so I told her that he had the runs, but had not beed sick, and that his last runny poo was the night before. The nurse told me that as long as he hasn't been sick with it, then its not D&V and he can come onto the ward to see Maisie, as Alan was going crazy not being able to see her, knowing what a bad time she was having, he was so relieved when I told him he was allowed in, not that there was much light to Maisie, she was still really drowsy off the Ora-morph. Maisie did not eat or drink anything all day, and was asleep really early. Me and Alan had left the hospital at around 6.30 because she was sound asleep.....

Steph xxxx

The Big "Operation" Day......24th March 2011

....Maisie was starved from 2am, she was woken by the nurses at around 1am to have a bottle of milk. They had informed us when we arrived at the Hospital at 8am that Maisie was first on the list, but that we had to wait for "them" to phone the ward to say they were ready for her! We sat and played with her until the nurse came over at 8.40am and told us that they were ready for Maisie, we asked if we would both be allowed in while Maisie was anaesthetised, the nurse said we should both go up, but ultimately it would be up to the anesthetist if we could both be there.....I carried Maisie around the hospital to the anaesthetic's room, to which he said we were both allowed to be with her until she fell asleep!....

.....Once we were in the room, we were asked to confirm Maisie's date of birth. I then sat on a hard chair positioned next to a stretcher type bed, Alan sat on his heels in front of where my knee's were, stroking Maisie's legs. The anaesthetist then brought over a very small mask, which covered Maisie's mouth and nose. Maisie did not like the mask over her face, tried to pull it off and tried to move her head away from it. I held her hands down and cupped as much of her head between my arm and chest, while the anethiatist held the other side of her head to prevent her from moving. Her cries we really intense, and the gas stank, I started crying with her....and for what felt like an eternity, but most probably less than a minute, Maisie was floppy, we then gently placed her onto the bed, mask still over her face and we left the room, Alan gave me a much appreciated cuddle, then we left and went back towards the ward with the nurse.....

....While Maisie's operation was going to last approximately 2 hours, and they were still unsure as to what procedure they were going to do on her, obviously they had to do the Open Reduction, but the surgeons pre-warned us that she may need to have an Osteotomy done at the same time, but that it all depended on how the Reduction went. With 2 hours to kill, and not knowing Whitechapel at all, we went for a little wander to find a cash point....found a bank...now only me and Alan could do this....we both looked at the title of the bank, which was IBB thought nothing of it, I continued to put my card in, for the cash point to spit it back at me, as we looked around the building, we saw the bank was one of those banks that only accepts its own cards and was called the Islamic Bank of Britain!! So we carried on walking, and eventually found a cash point that would take my card. We went for something to eat, not that we really wanted to eat anything but we knew we had to, pottered about for a bit then went back to the hospital to wait for them to let us know we could go and get our baby...

....Recovery phoned the ward at around 11.30am to say Maisie was awake and in recovery! So we went up with the nurse and as we walked into the recovery room Maisie was laid their in the hospital cot, as we got near the cot Maisie took a great lunge, grabbed the bars and flung herself round, I panicked as I hadn't been told or shown how to hold her yet or how to deal with her, the recovery room staff gently pulled her round and laid her back down, to which Maisie kicked off at. They asked me if I wanted to hold her, which of course I did. I sat on the chair provided and they placed Maisie on my knee. I have to say I did not like the look of it, or the feel of it and was quite freaked out by it, they then gave her to Alan to hold, then we made our way back to the ward with her....where she spent the rest of the day asleep mostly....

Steph xxxx 

Maisie's run up to the op.....23rd March 2011

...Oh my this was a fun day today...nerves were going mad all morning, and it wasnt even 9am. Waiting anxiously for 9am so we could ring the hospital to comfirm that they had a bed for Maisie....I think even   Maisie's older Sister Hailie was ready in record timing! Surprisingly Hailie went to school, Alan's mum had stayed over the previos night to help with Hailie this morning, so she took Hailie to school and me and Alan were making sure we had everything packed and the us and Maisie were dressed and all ready to leave, adn that all the bags were by the door ready to leave....

Then 9am came.....as Idialed the number given i could feel my heart starting to race, once they had answered, i asked if the bed was still available for Maisie today, "oh yes, can you be here for 12.30pm" so i asked if we were a little late would it matter as we had to get the train then the tube, and explained that it may take a few hours as we don't live in London! He was fine with that....good job too!

We got on the train, at our local train station, price = £28.80! That was paying for Maisie too, by paying for her we qaulified for the "family saver thingy" bonus. So we set off to hunt out Whitechapel in London! It was actually pretty easy to be honest, train direct to London Liverpool Street, change to the tube, and i think we took the hammersmith and city line, to Whitechapel.....

Once we had arrived at Whitechapel tube station, we had to find where the Sick Childrens Trust Charity had left the room keys for us, i for some reason was under the impression that they had been left at the train station, but they wern't, they had been left inside The Royal London Hospital at the security office for us to collect, the baggage we had was amazing, so rather than take everything to the ward and with it only being 12pm, we took all our stuff to a beautiful house run and funded by The Sick Childrens Trust named "Stevenson House". We were greeted with care by one of the staff! By the time we had got the stuff to our room and changed Maisie's nappy etc it was just after 12.40pm, so we rang the ward and asked if it would be ok to take Maisie for some lunch before bringing her up as she would have missed the dinner trolly, which they were fine with. So we went to as lovely little shop called Trio Sandwhich Bar, and had a sandwhich each, then took Maisie to the ward....

Maisie was on Grosvenor B Ward at The Royal London Hospital, bed 8! We went through all the paperwork that needed to be done, and that was that, we then went for a walk around for a bit as they didn't need her to be stuck on the ward! We took her back and she had some Tea, then thought it would be a great idea to run all around the ward...barefoot lol! All the staff were laughing at her, and she was so happy and was really enjoying herself, she didn't settle down and go to sleep until well after 10pm lol.......if only she knew what was to come the following day......

Steph xxxx

Thoughts & Feelings...

....Alan and Hailie have been away since Monday, they've gone to visit some family, as with Maisie's operation fast approaching we wont be able to get around very much, and both our family's don't live close! So, I've been spending quality time with Maisie, and I've loved it, just me and my Moo! We've had a good time just us, she's been really good too, she has stopped complaining as much about her hip, she doesn't hold it or rub it half as much as she was a few weeks ago, now I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, maybe shes just learnt to live with it. In all honesty I don't think its got better, I do think its worse than what it was in the beginning when she was first x-rayed on 14th December 2010, because her limp is so bad now, but I cannot stop her walking around, she's almost 16 months old, I cannot prevent her from trying to run and climb and throw herself about randomly everyday!

With the operation fast approaching I have been thinking more and more about it, and what life's going to be like when we get home. Tonight was a prime example...it was almost 7pm and Maisie had done a poo, so I had said to her, "lets take your nappy off, then you can have a bath" to which she screamed all while I was taking her nappy off and undressing her! Once I had let her free and put the nappy in the bin, she had ran to the safety gate and was shouting at me with the "uuuu" noise she makes when she wants something to be done for her, so I opened the gate for her, and quickly nipped into the bedroom to get her towel, and she was already in the bathroom (in the dark) standing by the bath shouting to get in. Now yes this is amazingly cute, Maisie adores getting in the bath, and while she was playing in the bath, I was watching her thinking, in a weeks time your baths are going to be taken away from you, and replaced with daily wash-downs and lying you on the bench with your head over the sink so we can wash your hair! I had tears in my eyes at the thought that something she loves, is just going to be gone from her life for a minimum of 12 weeks, this seems so unfair....I have already been informed by others in various forums that feelings like this and many others may surface during this ordeal. It is really upsetting. so were not going to be able to use the word bath its going to have to be a B.A.T.H lol

I'm getting worried about watching her be put to sleep, I've got so many emotions going around inside that I cant seem to figure out how I'm feeling, I'm trying my hardest to be strong, because I have to be, I have Hailie to consider as well, Hailie is scared of Maisie getting the cast on, and its going to be really strange for her. All the routines that we have in place are going to be thrown in the air like scrap paper, I don't want Hailie to feel left out once Maisie comes home, as she's going to take a lot of our time up, more so than she did before. We have told Hailie that she can be in charge of getting things for Maisie and passing her things, which she seems fine with....

Oh look were here again, its past 2am, my eyes are tired, I can feel it, but my head is buzzing about, and is constantly thinking of things that I know already, like, have we got everything for hospital...I know we have, I have planned, planned and planned again, I've been planning for months...all I am waiting for is some stuff to come from eBay that I ordered for her the other day for when she's in hospital, but that should all arrive by the end of this week! I'm scared to go to bed while my minds ticking like this, I don't want to go to bed while its being this active, I'll end up dreaming all kinds of things up, and being here on my own I wont be able to freely share it with Alan, so I wont have any immediate reassurance that things are ok!

...Well who would have thought Congenital Dysplasia of the Hip would be in my life, there's no previous history of it, Maisie is my 2nd child, and she spent her whole time head down while I was pregnant...none of the obvious signs, yet she's had this since birth and it was only picked up at 13 1/2 months old!!!!! I think maybe if it was Developmental then I might have a different outlook on it, but Maisie has no Hip socket, meaning that if this non-guaranteed operation doesn't prompt the growth, then she will need another operation before her 2nd birthday, I really don't know what to make of it all.....

Steph xxxx

Wide awake at almost 2am!!!!

...This time next week, I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep, Maisie's hospital visits start!!! I want it over and done with, but I'm absolutely terrified of how things are going to be, how am I going to feel seeing my perfect baby that I created, carried and gave birth to, be restrained from one of the things she loves to do...WALK....Maisie's going to be operated on, given god knows what drugs all at her tender age of 16 months old!!!!

I'm wide awake now....I'm surprised Ive not collapsed or something, I haven't slept well at all for around a month now...people may say tell your GP...honestly though, what for..sleeping pills??? There no good to me, I cant afford to be on sleeping pills, but yet I cant sleep! Its a tough one that! I am sick of being up this late...its cold and TV is boring, tonight Ive been backtracking listening to a loada choons that I love, some bouncy, some mellow! I did kinda think if I listen to mellow songs then I might get tired, but no, that's not worked, and they used to be the songs that I loved falling asleep listening to! Never mind eh...s'pose I'll just get on like I do every other day!

Back to the situation, I think I have pretty much everything under control that I can control...we have nappies big and small, stacks of nappy cream, 1 size larger vests and a few larger size clothes. I have also ordered her some mini aquadraw's from eBay, no mess, no fuss, just something to keep her going hopefully. Her Spica chair is almost done, just got a few more bits to add to it, then she can have it! It is of course in her favourite character of them all.....DUMBO....Maisie has the Dumbo comforter blankie and she cuddles it when she's tired, hurt, in pain, and takes it to bed. Its a routine, bottle ready, "find Dumbo" either me or Alan will say, and sure enough she will go looking for him. She watched the film the other day for the first time and she loved it, was amazed that HER Dumbo was on the telly lol, so it only seems right that her Spica Chair be no other than Dumbo!!! I went out and bought Dumbo on DVD too, so she can sit and watch something other than the usual cartoons. Trying to think of ways that we can entertain her, and I can barely think of anything, yet Ive read endless amounts of posts on forums and blogs by other parents!

I'm also extremely worried about when we get her home, and we try and figure some kind of routine out, what about shopping etc...we don't drive! Mission! I have already said that I am not going to get on the bus with her, because I will end up punching someone in the face if they knocked her cast, I'm sure people think I wouldn't, but I would, I really would! So I am going to refuse to use the bus to travel! Get fit me time lol! Then I think about town, or just out in general...it happens all the time, you can be walking down a perfectly empty street/part of town, and i will be standing with the pushchair, or will have moved over so theres space for a person heading towards me to pass, and they still manage to glide past the pushchair and knock it slightly.."tut" is my usual response....but oh my, if they do it when she's got her legs blatantly on the outside of the pushchair with a huge cast on, and they bang into the pushchair...god there gonna wanna hope I'm in a good mood. I'm dreading it I really am! I don't want to end up isolated in the house with Maisie, it wont be good for anybody!

Wow, I didn't realise I'd typed so much in such a short space of time, must have needed the moan lol!.....

Steph xxxx